What Dreams May Come...

...Well I will tell you what dreams, scary stressful, wake up in a cold sweat, fucking dreams. That was my night last night. Chased, shot and left for dead, only to survive and be disfigured and then wake up and I have been asleep for all of 15-20 minutes max. Then I could not go back to sleep for nothing. I hate it, I lay there and replay my whole list of wrong choices and stupid moves and think about what the hell I should have done differently.
But, you know what? Screw all that, I preach constantly to the wife and whoever will listen to live in the now and be thankful for what is happening today. Somewhere on I saw someone post a quote from Lao Tzu (who he is I have no idea...) that goes like this:

If you are depressed,

you are living in the past.

I you are anxious,

you are living in the future.

If you are at peace,

you are living in the present.

I usually don't subscribe to this sort of internet meme fodder but this kind of hit home. For years I have always worried about what was gonna happen, or what stupid thing I did in the past. That meant I could not enjoy even a bit of my day. But lately, maybe old age setting in, I have learned to enjoy the now and not worry about the rest, because in the end I have no control over most of that anyway. So as I cruise the house on this 3rd of July at 11:05 and check on the sleeping children (one is watching netflix on her computer, and the other is watching youtube on his tablet) I am thankful they are home and that my first day of vacation was restful and productive. And now I will try to get some sleep, and hopefully no gunfire....